It’s sad that you have come here looking for answers to the affair your husband had or is having. To say “My husband had an affair” brings with it a lot of hurt, frustration and anger. You are now probably feeling and having a lot of pain, heart break and an over whelming sense of betrayal by your husband. You might also carry a lot of frustration and confusion as well thinking about the infidelity and the unfaithfulness of your husband. Here I will try my best to give you all the information and advice to deal with the emotions and pain to say, “My husband had an affair” brings to you.
When the husbands have affair, lot of wives feel as if their whole world is falling apart and the life they know they had so far is just a lie. The main reason for this being, you now start to think that whether or not you really know your husband all that well as you would have never imagined that he could do something like this to you.
Even after the affair, Do you believe that your husband is REALLY still in LOVE with you? This is one of the most difficult decisions to make after the affair happens, we aren’t really sure whether or not to believe in him.
So, Should You Believe Your Husband And Give Him A Second Chance After An Affair ?
I believe that if your husband is sorry for his affair and is really committed to save the marriage and willing to take responsibility for the affair, then you MUST GIVE HIM A SECOND CHANCE. Also he should be very considerate and should have the patience and the understanding to support you through your healing process.
But we should also take into consideration that he himself is going through a lot because of the shame and the guilt that his affair has brought about. No way one can compare your pain of saying, my husband had an affair to his pain from guilt and shame. Both your pain and his is because of his own actions and mistakes.
I am sure you love your husband OR used to love him before coming to know of his affair. Since he is someone we loved, he DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE. You might not immediately see him feel your pain, be remorseful and regretful, as some husbands would take time to show these kinds of attributes as they themselves are trying to come out of the guilt and the shame their affair has caused to you and to the marriage.
Lot of we wives think that it is really impossible for us to love our husband again and is it stupid and foolish to trust him. But know that with an open heart and lots of effort together and both of you being committed in doing what needs to be done to turn around your marriage, a marriage can not only survive an affair but we can also make it stronger as a result of all that.
It’s really important for us to make use of the affair as a wakeup call to KNOW AND UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS WRONG in our relationship and think of ways and actions that could be help improve the marriage and the mutual respect we have for one another.
I have seen a lot of couples(you can include me as well) who had told me that their marriage is in fact a lot stronger and more harmonious & happy once they had done all the work that has to be done to heal themselves from the affair.
When my husband had an affair, I struggled a lot to forgive my husband, but I knew that he loved me even after his affair and that gave me a lot of confidence in my recovery. At times you might not feel this way, that could mainly be because your husband is also trying to handle his own guilt. So I am very sure the love is always there for you.
After giving all this a lot of thought process and introspection to all this, I was indeed able to believe and trust him again, and forgive him for his affair. Let me tell you this, When My husband had an affair, I did not really believe that all this was possible from my side when I got to know of the affair, but now looking back I am really happy that I took the right decision to sort things out and our marriage is stronger than ever before. It did took some good amount of work, but it was ALL WORTH IT.
Please go through all the articles on this site and I would also strongly recommend you to go through the resources we have mentioned and get all the help and advice you want. Then the pain of the feeling “My husband had an affair” will surely be a thing of the past.